I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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