She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
