how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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