Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize