I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
