Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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