I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
