You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
In America we eat man semen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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