bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
