Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
