I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
