I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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