remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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