Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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