just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
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