I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
