yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
