i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
