dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
