He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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