Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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