Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
