Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
