When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
