if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he thought i was a dude.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
no you cant smoke seaweed
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
