Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
