idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
