So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize