Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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