i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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