I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
