I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I understand Curling. That high.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
