So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I deserve this hangover.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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