It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
