no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
