i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
