Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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