never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
