I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
