Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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