I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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