how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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