Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize