i already hear my dad disowning me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Randomize