Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
