piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i now understand why vodka
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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