She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
