But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
