$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize