Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
