tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
