how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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