he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize