you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
