hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
