No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I will pee on everything he values.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
