idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
