barbara walters just said penis...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The air was thick with penises
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
