Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
